My friends realize how much I actually care for them. I mean, they probably do know to an extent, but yeah…
I actually posted a pic on Instagram once with a tumblr screenshot that had a quote about wanting to make friends happy but feeling like an annoying ass who’s probably clingy or messes things up. There was another quote above that said something about a friend drawing an awesome tattoo design. Obviously, me being shy, I captioned mostly about the tattoo quote, but I tagged my friends on certain words on the friendship quote. I put their names specifically on “happy”, “loved”, “safe”, and “care.”
It may seem like a lame way to show it but I’m very shy and awkward, even when I try not to be.
Point is…I care. And the reason I’m probably being so sentimental right now is the fact that I had almost no one to actually consider a real friend during my darkest times. I never had time to socialize and actually have a “normal” life as a teenager. I only had one best friend to count on but even she can get extremely busy.
And it’s because of this that I tend to bug people by constantly messaging them. Even though it slightly irritates me to be the one constantly reaching out to them, I’m not going to stop. I don’t want to be so prideful and wait for them to contact me. I just think that’s stupid having to wait for someone. Everyone have their own lives, yes, but I want to be able to at least keep in contact with my close friends. I am NOT going to lose the ones I have now.
Now, of course, I have my family who I love very much, so don’t go thinking I put my friends above them. Nope, doesn’t work that way, but only my best friend and my closest friends come close to it.
Yes, this is probably vague but I’m not going into full details here. And yes….I do sound like a ridiculous idiot who’s probably a sentimental fool but…that’s just who I am. C;